Walking in Faith toward a Lovely, Peaceful, Sober Future
(Trigger Warning: This story includes references to drug and alcohol use and follows a person in sobriety and recovery. Please read only if you feel emotionally safe and grounded enough to do so.)
Laura’s positive energy and vibrant personality light up a room. She carries with her a pink mug that reads, “Jesus is my lifeline.” Moreover, her deep faith remains right by her side as she travels the road of sobriety and recovery.
“I am so thankful for The Virtue Center and the people who have helped me,” she said. “I came here when I was relapsing. You’re dark. Now I feel so light and so peaceful. I just love this place. I’m so blessed.”
Born in 1993, Laura grew up in the Yukon/Mustang area, just west of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. She and her twin brother are two of eight siblings, and Laura said it was often hard to be heard in such a large family. Her mom used crack, cocaine and alcohol while Laura was growing up, a lifestyle that seemed normal to her. She began using marijuana, alcohol and cigarettes around 11 or 12. It was “what all the kids did. My siblings did it,” she said.
In addition, she cut herself as a kid and used vomiting to control her weight. As a teen, she tried meth but found it to be too much for her.
“I wasn’t skinny like other people. I was shamed by other people,” she said.
At 15, she found herself pregnant and had her first daughter. During this pregnancy, she gave up everything except marijuana. Two years later, another daughter was born, and she and the baby’s father got married. She described life at this time as super hard and a whirlwind of emotions.
“Do not get married when you’re young,” Laura advised.
Life was hard for Laura as a young wife with two little ones. She did a lot of couch surfing with her young girls and knows now that she was putting them through trauma. Constantly she worried that The Oklahoma Department of Human Services (DHS) would come and take her kids away. She would often take her girls back to their dads’ homes when she was using because she knew they’d have a safe place and food.
She described that time by saying, “If I’m not drinking, I’m drugging. If I’m not drugging, I’m drinking.”
Laura supported herself and her girls by dancing, waiting tables, stripping and bartending. It was when she started selling drugs that she realized she was surrounded by some dangerous people. She saw horrible things happen.
“I was leading my life toward an institutional organization or a body bag,” she said.
She’s attempted sobriety numerous times over the years but quickly found herself going back to old ways. Fast forward to a few years ago when two incidents left Laura’s life in shambles but impacted the way she lives life today. The first was losing her twin brother’s wife to suicide. Post-partum depression was to blame, and no one had any idea that the new mom was in such a deep, dark place.
The second incident, which Laura calls the lowest point in her life, was in 2021 when she had relapsed and was experiencing suicidal thoughts. She called for help. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics asked if she had anyone to look after her third child, a son who was four months old at the time. DHS stepped in and took her son, and Laura headed to rehab and a few months later found herself at The Virtue Center. She was also assigned to 18 months in Family Treatment Court in Cleveland County with Judge Thad Balkman.
“This place has just given my life another meaning. I have an amazing relationship now with my parents. My mom didn’t get to break a cycle. I’m getting to break that cycle. I don’t feel a bondage to anything.”
“I didn’t need to be scared. This is my little safe spot,” she said.
According to Oklahoma.gov, Family Treatment Court (FTC) was created to address the poor outcomes of traditional reunification with caregivers who struggle with substance use issues.
Laura said she was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She prayed to God, “Help me to be clean. Take away my urges.”
At The Virtue Center, she found inspiration, healing and safety.
“The most help I’ve ever gotten in Oklahoma is here,” Laura said. “The services here – group, 1-1, I can call my therapist – I utilize everything here. This place gave me hope. Coming here was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
On a fun note, Laura’s therapist throws in dad jokes quite regularly, something she looks forward to every week.
“I thought I was never going to be fixed,” Laura said. “You gotta heal the inside. I was on the verge of not coming back to life itself. I learned about coping skills that I can build and maintain.”
For Laura, The Virtue Center is her home away from home, and she admits that she would stay here forever.
“I didn’t need to be scared. This is my little safe spot,” she said.
What is she most proud of on her journey to sobriety?
“Saying yes to help,” Laura said. “Saying yes to a new life. Saying yes that I deserve another chance.
“This place has just given my life another meaning. I have an amazing relationship now with my parents. My mom didn’t get to break a cycle. I’m getting to break that cycle. I don’t feel a bondage to anything.”
What is she looking forward to in recovery?
“Consistent sobriety,” Laura said. “I want to be a present parent and venture out and change lives. I want to speak about it. Sobriety has done so much for me. Keep modeling sobriety. You’ve got to give it out freely.”
Laura proudly shares her enthusiasm for The Virtue Center and refers the non-profit to friends, people in Alcoholics Anonymous, people at the courthouse and those she sees out and about. How would she encourage them to seek help here?
“Don’t be scared,” she said. “Say yes. Do the work. It gets hard, but then it gets so lovely. It’s beautiful. Say yes to this place because it changed my life.
“When I surrendered to God, He moved me from where I was to be closer to all the things I needed to be. He answered everything, and I’m so thankful for that. This place has changed lives.
“Life is good, God is great, and I’m sober,” she said.
Yes you are, Laura. Yes, you are.
Photography by: Joseph Singleton | Turning The World
Jan S. Astani
Board Member, and Contributing Author
