The month of May represents significant milestones for Virtue Center client Lindsay…
May 15, 2019 – her sobriety anniversary
May 17, 2025 – she turns 31 and graduates from Oklahoma City Community College with an Associate’s Degree in Psychology
She’s come a long, hard and remarkable way from her troubled childhood spent in Noble and Norman, Oklahoma. Lindsay grew up in a family of addicts – her parents, sister, aunt and uncle. She remembers always having food in her home, but at times there was no hot water. She was bullied. In her late teens, Lindsay experienced homelessness.
“I’ve experienced a bit of everything,” she said.
By age 13, Lindsay was using alcohol and marijuana. By 14, she noticed drugs while going through her mom’s room. At 15, she was using alcohol, ecstasy and Adderall. At 16, she started using methamphetamines and was able to hide it from her mom for about a year. From ages 16 – 24, Lindsay earned her income by selling drugs.
Although she experimented with alcohol as a teen, it was “not her thing,” Lindsay said.
“I had a huge fear of throwing up, she added. “I wasn’t a big fan of alcohol even though it was easy to get. I was a huge fan of meth.”
Lindsay’s substance abuse lead her down a a path of bad choices, and by age 22, she was in serious criminal trouble. The legal consequences of her addiction – go to prison or attend and graduate from Cleveland County, Oklahoma Treatment Court. She chose treatment court starting in 2017.
But treatment court wasn’t incentive enough to keep Lindsay out of trouble while in the program. She lied and cheated and participated in criminal activity.
So off Lindsay went, sanctioned by Cleveland County Treatment Court and ordered to prison for six months at Mabel Bassett Correctional Center in McLoud, Oklahoma. It was 2018, and she was 24.
“I did not use in prision,” Lindsay said. “It was the first time I’d tried to be sober. I received my GED, something my mom asked me to do, attended leadership classes and got baptized.”
She was released from Mabel Bassett after six months and relapsed in March 2019. Her relapse meant possible temination from treatment court. But Lindsay’s determination saved her. She began her sobriety journey May 15, 2019, and entered a rehabilitation facility for the next three months, graduating from treatment court later that year.
While in treatment court and rehab, she came to terms with the fact that she never processed her childhood trauma or her mom’s passing right before Lindsay turned 20. Her mom’s death was caused by health complications from long-term substance abuse.
“Before receiving treatment for my addiction, life was daunting,” Lindsay said. “It was exhausting to be trapped in addiction. I was in denial about a lot of things, like me being the problem.”
Cleveland County Treatment Court sent Lindsay to The Virtue Center to continue her recovery journey, and she’s been a client since 2017. She sees her therapist once or twice a week depending on her struggles and needs at the time.
“The Virtue Center has always been my home. I’ve always like the vibe, even in the old building,” she said. “Treatment gave me lots of tools – noticing behaviors that are not acceptable, being honest with myself, setting boundaries and knowing that as an addict, you can’t always trust your thoughts.”
As Lindsay reflected on her years of addiction, she never wanted to die.
“I was always loved by my family while using. I could never do that to my sisters or nieces. I never got to the point of self-harm. But you realize in recovery that drug abuse is self-harm. I never tried to kill myself, but I wasn’t afraid to die.”
How did she manage to escape a fatal ending during her addiction?
“God had different plans,” she said. “If I could succeed in one of the lowest times of my life, what could I do at my best times?”
How does Lindsay’s life look different now than it did during her addiction?
“Everything has changed,” she said. “I’ve been a fast food general manager in Norman for four years. I have a wonderful spouse who has always supported me in everything I do. I am an amazing aunt and dog mom to Mia, Ryver and Piper. I have relationships back with my family. My biggest challenge is letting go of friends who are not willing to help themselves. But now I have new friends“.
Today, it’s not hard for me to sit with myself. Recovery gave me myself back. I am not a shell of a person anymore. I am me. And that’s OK.
On her sobriety journey, Lindsay has bravely shared her story of addiction and recovery in the Oklahoma City metro and online. At a Norman, Oklahoma, opiod community forum in 2024, she talked about her beloved teen niece Lily. Lily’s life was cut short after drinking and using cocaine laced with fentanyl. She passed during Lindsay’s third year of sobriety.
“Losing my niece made me not want to use anymore.”
Lily’s life and her passing inspired Lindsay to major in psychology and help kids and teens learn coping skills so they don’t turn to drugs or alcohol. The name for her future organization – Lots of Lily’s.
“I feel her every day,” Lindsay said. “There are lots of Lily’s out there who need help,” Lindsay said. “I don’t want kids of my own. I want to help save others. Each year, 1,324 underage kids nationwide die. That’s 100 families a month who experience the tragedy of losing their child.”
Since 2019, Lindsay has attended four funerals of friends who died from addiction, a fact that conjures up lots of emotions for her.
“For people who are in my former shoes, I want them to realize they’re not far from being next.”
Lindsay’s mantra that sees her through sobriety and remains with her to this day – “You’ll either sink or swim, so just keep swimming.”
She added, “If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you do good.”
What is she proudest of in her sobriety?
“My growth in my sobriety. My growth as a person. An addict can justify anything. I ask myself if it would help my situation if I used. The answer is always a ‘no’ for me.”
To those living with addiction and struggling with recovery, Lindsay recommends giving yourself 90 days.What’s so magical about 90 days?
30 days to build a new habit
60 days to establish new behavior
90 days to feel comfortable with the new habit
That’s why Alcoholics Anonymous recommends 90 meetings in 90 days, she said.
“That way you know you’re not the only one experiencing what you’re experiencing,” she added.
Lindsay calls her AA sponsor her 2nd mom and her older sister, who now has 10 years of sobriety, her rock.
Since college has been a constant part of Lindsay’s sobriety and recovery, she’s always had her nose in a textbook these last few years. She’s looking forward to graduating from OCCC and taking time to travel, maybe see the ocean and possibly buy her first home with her spouse.
According to Lindsay, only two percent of meth addicts recover. Many celebrate that milestone with a “2%” tattoo, something Lindsay may treat herself to on her 10-year sobriety anniversary. One more beautiful thing to add to her celebration-filled May.
Lindsay. A beautiful survivor who is loving life and living large. What one word best describes her now?
“Empowered,” she said. “I have taken my life back into my own hands. I don’t have to wake up daily and chase something.”
Jan Astani
Speaker. Trainer. Writer.
