Surrender, Sunshine, Faith and the Road to Recovery
When he first started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, a message on a sign in the room didn’t make a whole lot of sense to Michael. It said, “Don’t quit before the miracle.” Because his entire life had been riddled with bad choices and dire consequences, 53-year-old Michael doubted there was a miracle out there waiting for him.
To better understand Michael’s troubled adult life in and out of prison, it’s necessary to start with his rocky childhood.
Michael grew up on the south side of Oklahoma City in a home filled with abuse, drugs, and alcohol. As a 12-year-old 7th grader, he was sent away to a home for troubled boys. Michael said his time at the boys’ home made him worse, and he deeply wished someone would have held him accountable and given him direction. Michael also longed for comfort in his life. Unfortunately, that’s what he found in drugs.
“Drugs were my comfort,” Michael said.
From the age of 15, Michael was continually told he’d end up in prison. And that’s exactly what happened. His future behind bars began at 18, and one bad decision after another led to a hard life filled with crime, substance abuse, and multiple prison sentences. His crimes over the years include pawning a stolen guitar for a friend for drugs, burglary, possession of stolen property, stealing, drugs, and firearm possession. Spending years behind bars became a revolving door for him.
“My thoughts weren’t right,” Michael said. “I was raised by the Department of Corrections. I wasn’t a good person at heart.”
It was in 2024, when Michael was facing yet another sentence (this one being 10 years), that he was offered a life-saving chance to go through Cleveland County Treatment Court, an intense, collaborative program with the Cleveland County judicial system, Judge Michael Tupper, and The Virtue Center, a non-profit organization in Norman, Oklahoma, that provides life-changing and life-saving services to those living with alcohol, drug, or gambling addictions and mental health struggles.
Treatment Court’s goal is to prevent people from going to prison by successfully completing the program requirements, or in the case of repeat offenders, keep them from going back. If Michael succeeds and graduates from Treatment Court, he won’t return to prison. If he fails…
“This is my last chance,” Michael said. “There won’t be another Treatment Court. If I ever screw up again, I know I’ll spend the rest of my life in prison.”
About the same time Michael was entering Treatment Court, history was repeating itself when his youngest son’s mom contacted him about their 11-year-old boy. His out-of-control behavior (drugs, anger issues, cursing, trouble at school) couldn’t be changed, managed or stopped, and she was putting him in a boys’ home.
It was deja vu all over for Michael.
“I felt like a failure as a father,” he said.
“Give him to me,” Michael told his son’s mom. Michael knew he had to step up as a father and save his son from that same destructive path he had walked for far too many years.
Today, proud father Michael says his son is a completely different young man, receiving compliments from teachers, excelling at school, holding doors for strangers and even supplying The Virtue Center staff with Halloween candy. They adore him.
“This is my last chance,” Michael said. “There won’t be another Treatment Court. If I ever screw up again, I know I’ll spend the rest of my life in prison.”
“I didn’t want my son to go down the same road as me,” Michael said. “I need him as much as he needs me. He’s done a complete turnaround—he’s not the same kid. He’s not on drugs anymore. He tells me he’s so proud of me. I see now how to guide my son, and I credit what I’ve learned at The Virtue Center to help him.”
In addition to attending Treatment Court, Michael attends individual therapy and group sessions at The Virtue Center along with Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, currently going to three meetings weekly. At AA, he’s known as the guy who is always filled with sunshine.
Also playing a huge part in Michael’s recovery are his encouraging oldest brother and his newfound faith in God. During his sobriety and recovery journey, Michael and his brother started communicating on a regular basis via daily texts. In the beginning, those texts were filled with complaining, lots of complaining, from Michael. He blamed everyone and everything for his problems. He wasn’t in a place yet to start taking responsibility for his past.
“My oldest brother never threw my past up in my face,” Michael said. “He always made sure I was OK and didn’t judge me. Today, he’s one of the most important people in my life. He turned me onto my faith, and he’s a big part of my surrender. I stand on my faith 100 percent. I wouldn’t be where I am without the Lord.”
How does Michael define “surrender,” a term used in addiction recovery to acknowledge one’s inability to control his/her addiction and to accept the need for help?
“Surrender is giving it all away, letting go of the things you can’t control,” he said. “You trust in yourself that things will work out. You don’t worry, and you stay out of your head. You let go of what you were. You’ve got to surrender it all.”
He added, “If a person hasn’t surrendered, they may be wasting their time. They have to be at the point where they’ve had enough.”
“I started applying my faith when I came to The Virtue Center,” Michael said. “This program saved my life. I have choices and decisions with the tools they teach me. I know now there are other options. I have hope that I could be like the people who were in recovery—peaceful, happy, comfortable.”
So many positive things have happened in Michael’s life since finding Treatment Court, The Virtue Center, sobriety, and recovery. A few weeks ago he got a driver’s license, something he hasn’t had in over 30 years. Prior to getting his license, he Ubered to Treatment Court and his therapy sessions, determined to not let his inability to drive hinder his success. He’s not about excuses anymore. He’s working diligently to get his outstanding warrants handled in multiple counties. He has family who cares about him, and he now realizes that he wasn’t all those horrible things he was told or taught throughout his life. He and his brother facilitate a Christian men’s group. He’s working on getting his own place for him and his youngest son, and a new job with benefits may be on the horizon.
“My family supports me,” Michael said. “They’re proud of me. They saw these positive changes before I did.”
He added, “I’m not who I thought I was. I have a purpose here. The best thing about recovery…feeling free and the peace I have in my heart. I couldn’t do it without those two things right there. No one can steal my sunshine. I know I can succeed if I keep what I have now.”
“If your light shines, people ask you where your light comes from,” Michael said. “Things like that keep me going. The peace I have in me—that’s the best thing that’s happened. Misery, worry, stress—I know now that I can beat all that.”
“Before, I didn’t know how to stop doing what I was doing,” he added. “I’m so grateful for The Virtue Center and this program. I’ve never felt judged here.”
The compassionate, caring, nonjudgmental Virtue Center therapists and the Treatment Court team have made a huge impact on Michael. It’s a totally different experience from what he went through before when seeking help from other resources.
“The therapists reach you in the ways they do because each one of them has compassion,” Michael said. “I never experienced that from someone before who was there to help. I never trusted a person like them. Before, I felt like they always looked down on me, but not them.”
He added, “The Treatment Court team…they were not there just waiting on me to screw up, which is how it was before when I needed help. I never opened up to those kinds of people.”
Michael graduates from Treatment Court in December 2025.
“My goal is to reach others and show them there are resources and hope,” he said. “I pray that God puts someone in my path daily to help, especially youth and troubled kids.”
Creating boundaries, not crossing dangerous lines, and knowing his past doesn’t define him are a few things that Michael puts high on his successful recovery list. But his proudest accomplishment?
“I have the Lord in my life through this time of transformation,” he said. “That’s what I’m most proud of.”
It’s accurate to say that today, Michael finally gets the meaning behind the AA sign… ”Don’t quit before the miracle.” There’s no stopping him now. He’s a man on a mission…spreading sunshine, faith, kindness, peace, love, sobriety, and recovery to anyone who crosses his path.
“I’m so grateful for The Virtue Center and this program. I’ve never felt judged here.”
