Parenting in Sobriety

I remember feeling exhausted on a bus stop bench by Wash Park in Denver on a late October evening in 2014. I had been up for days after a bender with heroin and meth. I found myself in deep thought after realizing my son would soon be five years old in just a week or so. I was asking myself, "What am I doing?". I had not been physically or mentally present to that point for most of my son's life. This moment began a desire to change after 12 years of drug abuse.

Today I have not had a drink or a drug since Jan 21st of 2015. One of the best things sobriety has given me is the ability to be a parent that is physically and mentally present. Today I have three children, 2 of which have never seen me under the influence and one that has seen me more sober than not, thanks to recovery. 

Parenting can be hectic, and many things can be frustrating and out of your control. Recovery has taught me several things I have taken into parenthood, like "Pause when agitated" and to act rather than react. If applied, the serenity prayer and its principles have been a game changer. Most importantly, it's taught me that we seek progress, not perfection. There is no manual for parenting. Every child has different needs; there is no monopoly, or one size fits all. Parenthood is a learning experience that only progresses with trial and error. I have to learn to be gentle with myself about remembering things like "expectations are resentments waiting to happen" and be willing to ask for help.

If you are struggling with substance abuse or related mental health issues, please contact The Virtue Center. You can call (405) 321-0022 and even start the intake process online by visiting https://www.thevirtuecenter.org/get-help.